New Level

The day before yesterday was a special one. I could return from office earlier so I just jumped of the train for shopping in a nearby mall. Calzedonia was my first stop, not because their fishnet tights seem to be of the most solid quality, but for the first one I have to blame myself. You just have to be more careful. Since I don’t want to be dressed in too many holes (some are ok, of cause: I’m a man! 🙂 I got a special offer of three different grades. The tinyest net I already saw on big adds and the necessary second glance convinced me directly: what is it? What a shining legs! But I needed these pics to fall totally in love with them.

The second shop I entered was tally weijl. Here I got that body in size L, it was reduced (“you can not return reduced articles, do you know that?”) but felt nice – I was also not too sure, but maybe that’s something about intuition? Also I got these pants in size 42, I love for the length of the pant legs.

The Zara Blazer you might have already seen, the shoes from some chineze ebay seller (again) in Size 42 are hard to wear, but I just can’t give them away. And the underware was a thrown out piece of my best friend. For her, it was to much, for me it’s just nice big. Not too big and nice with the shoes.

Thats about the pics. But why was it a really remarkable day?

Later, friends from highschool came for the evening. Haven’t seen them for long. One already knew about my passion, the other not. But he has been one of my best friends, so I just wore my stuff – without the bra, tights & the heels but with a blue/green checked shirt. And the third guest came, even if I didn’t want to see him. He just invited himself and – I expected some more reaction – got along with it well, drinking a lot. And when my wife arrived late, she couldn’t say but: Oh – Well, you’re looking great again!

I think I did. Even without the bra, tights & heels.



Just how it feels these days

Monday I met a good friend having not seen for long. She was one of my first friends that I outed myself – it was part of her diploma project: collecting and showing most-loved garnment within a small exitition. That included a pboto of the owner in hir costume. I was immediately sure that I had to participate. And I remember the big surprise of some of the audience. Strange and funny, and a bit proud of myself,  knowing that not everyone would be fine with this. But that’s life.

I just want to say thank you to all you friends that gave and still give me hints like this.

Crossdresser meeting

Saturday we had the fifth meeting of a small german crossdressing community; we have an online forum and once a year, a variing number of people meet, usually in my town. I first found them before last year’s meeting, but I couldn’t take part because of some reason, but this year, I was happy to – at least – be there the last hours of a two day’s event. I don’t talk about what I missed, but was so happy arriving just to hear some last songs of Astrid North from Cultured Pearls – she accompagnied herself on a nice old piano, and I loved the atmosphere entering a group of completely unknown people, but having similar passion as me. I was quite curious and stayed until the very end, remaining at the bar with the barkeeper and another last guest who came only for the concert. Both didn’t seem to have really understood our situation, but that was quite ok for me. I was so happy to have met and talked to some really cool people, and I must have been smiling the whole time. That was a wonderful night, girls! Thank you so much!

On the way back I had two stops on my bike, here are some shots. The jacket from an ebay seller I first thought giving back, because I really couldn’t remember to have bought something looking like a spacey pure plastic NVA-uniform, but as you could zip off the lower part of the waist, it turned out to be a spacey pure plastic biker’s top. Nice!! I hope you love it aswell. 😉

New and old stuff

As part of my birthday presents there was this Zara Blazer. I love it, because its shape is in between the usual gender style; elegant but masculine. The shoes (chineese ebay seller) are really nice to wear, you have a good stand, and they are – as well – elegant and masculine. The jumpsuit (second hand) was one of my first items I wore in public now 11 years ago, and to the underwear I have nothing to say.

My Birthday

Today was my 40th birthday, I can’t believe it, that I’m that old…

Last weeks it was a bit of a silent around me, that was because I got irritated by a friends comment about my fetish and what it means for my relationship. Crossdressing is not the reason for the conflict between me and my wife, it’s a sideeffect by my fetish, that has to be treated as a fundamental part of our relationship. It’s not something, that I just should do when I’m alone or when I go out. It’s not just my mans cave. It is, and I love it as such, but it’s more. And I am so happy, that today she told me, that she feels sorry, that she could not make me a gift for my obsession. Because this means to me, that she – first time ever – told me, that she is thinking about the possibility, that one day it could be a normal thing and maybe even fun between us. That it could become a hobby (or whatever you call it), that she could support with a gift.

This is the situation between us.

And these are some pictures from monday with some of my new stuff. Stockings from Calcedonia, Bermuda and Pullover from Zara, Shoes from a chineese ebay seller. I love it!


I once had a gay haircutter I regularely went to; he knew me, about my passion, but since he left the shop from one day to the other (must have been drugs or something), I am a homeless hair cutting studio visitor. Searching the net for fancy studios around I suddenly saw that scenery: what, if you walk in such a recommended stylists temple, they see you, and just start laughting? Somehow I feel under pressure that I need to pimp myself up very carefully before entering these shops. Shall I just go again to one of the normal ones, where they see you, and you see what they think: A man in female clothes? Ok, next one please! Then I will never find out, it’s my fear again.

(written two hours later, finishing the drafted post: *Sigh* – Free morning is over, next time, next chance. I am weak. Let’s blame it on the flue I had the last days.)

Some red light

Hi there!

On my way to become a crossdresser it took me so long to articulate myself, and even longer to document my thoughts and my visual nature. Fear dominated too long. But since a couple of years I take pictures, that now I want to share with you. These are from 2014, I had these red heels and the top that turned me on. The shoes (you will find them better on other pics coming soon) were size 42, I have 43, but what do you do, when you are a woman with large feet? The top I like a lot, even if I can’t wear it for a long time, because of the material/sweat. This is another thing that until now nobody could tell me: do women sweat less then men?

I like these few pics, I hope you too. But don’t expect much more red light – it was just like that.