Isn’t it a wonderful thing, that we have this neutral word “crossdressing”? Before discovering that I am a crossdresser, I had as a comparison only transsexuals, the usual LGBT and this often in films and media shown picture of weired people who wear secretly their wifes bra’s and get horny by that, and I never saw me like these sad guys. Now I know, who I am, how my desire can be described, how that former misty and weired “thing” can be named, and once you have a name, you can handle it.
It still is not easy for me – I’m living in a heterosexual relation with my wife (who still has a big problem with that, but I don’t want to loose her), but I believe that this is the right way, I have to go. This is, why I started this blog last week, and this is, why I look for other people who have the same drug.
So I stumbled over a friend’s comment who said, that he wouldn’t do it if his future girlfriend wouldn’t be comfortable with it. But I think, people like us can’t leave it, we have to do it. At least I can say, that I’ve tried it so many times and always failed – because that’s just us. It’s like trying to neglect that we have a dick. In that point, we are animals.
I mean, I also thought like him before, when I first met my wife, when we fell in love. Of cause this was not the first thing, I told her about me, so first she didn’t knew it. But it was still in the first year, that I showed her my tights, and I am very happy, that she is a very tolerant person. She thought, that it could be a thing, that would be over one day, that I just would need time to “discover” myself and one day I would stop it. She didn’t want to see, that it was a fundamental part of me (my identity!) and closed her eyes in a way, until I came out nearly three years ago. After we had a very, very (!) stormy time last year, it’s for us now a bit like “hoping and trying to belive, that we have the right partner”, and for me, it’s about finding a way to express and understand myself better.